140113

Last friday (1 week after funeral) I was in my bf house cus next day is the prayer day for uncle, and i have to be there early to help them prepare the stuff. Aunty was told me that my bf didnt sleep the whole night, and they quite worry about him too. After we sitting down in the room, I manage to talk to him. 

C: Aunty told me that you cant fall as sleep last night, how come?

J: I dont know...

C: Aunty said you might not accept that uncle was passed away, and you just keeping everything in your heart.

J:...

C: You may cry if u want to, just release everything out, dont keeping in your heart, is not good for you.

J: Cry also no use, dad is not gonna come back... 

C: Yes I know, we have to accept the fact. I am not worry about aunty and your sister cus i will come to visit them as much as i can, but you are the person that i more worry about, you are not telling everyone and just keeping in your heart.

J:...

C: Just cry, release everything out...

At the moment, he cry finally.

You are not alone, you still got your mum, sister, me and your friends, and you are not alone to take care the house, as i will helping you as well. I just want to let tell you, no matter what happen, I will always be there for you. The house wont be quiet, cus i am the one who will make them laugh again.

Jeev, I will always be there for you, dont worry. I love you.

090113

今天从男友家回来，真的很伤心。某部分原因是男友的爸爸去世了，另一部分是因为看见男友和家人在伤心，哭，我却什么也做不到，只能陪在他们身旁，安慰他们。我真的很想抱住他，好让他大声的哭出来。昨天你在房间检查叔叔的遗物，看见你哭，我却什么也做不到，我很心痛，真的很心痛，想安慰也安慰不了，只能默默的坐在你身旁，想让你知道，不管发生什么事，我都会在你身边，不离不弃，因为，你还有妈妈，姐姐，和我。

给叔叔的话

男友的爸爸在昨天傍晚7点半，离开了人间。收到消息时，我整个人进入迷糊状态，脑袋一片空白，走来走去，像傻子一样，不知该如何是好。到目前位置，我真的不能接受这个事实。我会有如此反应，是因为叔叔当我好像他的干儿子一样，也喜欢和我看玩笑。

给叔叔的话:
叔叔，你还记得吗? 你离开的前几天，我和阿姨才带你去医院做手术后的复诊，你一切看起来并无恙，当天我还帮你推轮椅，还不小心差点撞到墙壁。我买了一个花篮给你，是祝你早日康复的，你喜欢吗? 爱吃猪肠粉的你，说等复原后要和我一起去吃。听你唠叨说儿子女儿不听话，中气十足。听Ryan说昨天早上你还提起我，问我几时来，说我帮你推轮椅。这一切我都很乐意帮忙，可是为什么会这样呢? 你还没有带我去吃好吃的猪肠粉啊，还没带我去sungai petani吃好吃又便宜的华人美食啊，为什么....我们会想念你的，非常非常想念。想念你叫我的名字Coop，想念你和我开的玩笑，想念你阳光般的笑容。希望你能在远方得到安息，我们永远爱你，叔叔。

写到这里，我已经哭到快要崩溃了，无论如何，我会把你好像干爸那样，放在心里。

Cooper